Why did the squirrel bring a suitcase? To pack Deez Nuts!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Deez. Deez who? Deez Nuts!
Did you hear about the nutty professor? He specialized in Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut go to school? To get a little more knowledge, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the chestnut say to the walnut? You’re a little nuts, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts? Nuttin’ much, just like Deez Nuts!
Did you see the sign outside the peanut factory? It said “Cashews inside, Deez Nuts outside!”
Why did the walnut go to the party? To get a little cracked up, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call it when a nut makes you laugh? A pistachio, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the almond refuse to fight? It was afraid of getting cracked, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the gym? Let’s get roasted, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortunuts, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a walnut laugh? Crack a joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that likes to party? A cashew-nut, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the hazelnut go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit nutty, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one peanut say to the other peanut? You’re my butter half, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the pistachio always calm? Because it knew how to keep its shell together, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the sunflower get in trouble? It was caught staring at Deez Nuts!
Did you hear about the nut that won the lottery? It was a real cashew-cidence, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite dance move? The pecan-twerking, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to school? It wanted to be a little nut-cademic, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite place to travel? Brazil, because that’s where nuts like to hang, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut on Valentine’s Day? I’m nuts about you, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut get a job at the bakery? It kneaded the dough, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you organize a nut party? You cashew later, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut go to therapy? It had too many issues, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s a good singer? A hum-dinger, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say when it got a compliment? Aww, shell you’re too kind, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut get an award? Because it was outstanding in its field, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a walnut shake? Put it in the freezer until it’s a bit chilly, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut get a computer? It wanted to go online and crack some jokes, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s always nosy? A sno-conut, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the art gallery? It heard there were a lot of wall-nuts, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut laugh on a hot day? Tell it a cool joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the bolt? You’re screwing things up, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the almond always so considerate? It had great empathy, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of exercise? Pilates, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut go to the dance party? It heard they were shelling out some great moves, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut during a race? I’m gonna cashew! Just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut wear a helmet? It was afraid of getting cracked, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite way to relax? Lying on a hammock, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the chestnut always so calm? Because it knew how to keep its cool, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a walnut roll? Push it down a hill, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the peanut say to the walnut at the party? Let’s go nuts! Just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the movie theater? It wanted to see a nutty film, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite hobby? Collecting shell-fies, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut get a ticket? It was caught going too fast, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut stop laughing? Crack a serious joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s always late? A slow-cashew, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut go to the gym? It wanted to get a little more buff, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut in a tight situation? We’re in a real jam, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut turn red? Paint it, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the pistachio always so good at math? It had a great grasp of numbers, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite vacation spot? The Bahamas, because it loves the palm trees, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut get a smartphone? It wanted to stay connected, just like Deez Nuts!
What do you call a nut that’s always in a hurry? A racing walnut, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut smile? Crack a joke, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the peanut blush? Because it saw Deez Nuts coming, just like you did!
What’s a nut’s favorite way to exercise? Pistachio-yoga, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut start a band? It wanted to go nuts with the music, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut clean? Shell-ter it from the rain, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the car wash? We’re getting shell-shocked, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the almond always so confident? It had a great self-shell-esteem, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite game? Nutscapades, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut bring a ladder to the party? To reach the high notes, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the walnut at the comedy club? This is gonna be nuts, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut float? Add it to a bowl of water, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio become a detective? It had a knack for cracking cases, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of weather? Cashew-dy, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut go to the spa? It needed to relax its shell, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut laugh underwater? Tell it a sea-sational joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the nutcracker? Don’t crack me up, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the peanut always so supportive? It had a nuturing personality, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite way to communicate? Almond-mail, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut enroll in a cooking class? It wanted to learn how to be a nutty chef, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut on a roller coaster? We’re gonna be shell-shocked, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut explode? Put it in the microwave, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the almond start a garden? It wanted to see some shell-grown produce, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of movie? A nutty comedy, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the zoo? It wanted to hang out with the other nuts, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut do a backflip? Throw it in the air, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the walnut during a race? I’m gonna crack you up, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio go to the fashion show? It wanted to show off its trendy shell, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite sport? Bowling, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the gym? It wanted to build up its nut-trition, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut jump? Give it a little push, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the comedy club? This place is cracking me up, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the almond always so chill? It had a great sense of nut-ral calm, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite instrument? The guitar, because it loves to jam, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the dance party? It heard they were cracking out some great moves, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut breakdance? Put on some nutty music, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the squirrel? Don’t be a nutcase, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the peanut always so positive? It had a nut-look on life, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite way to travel? By peanut, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the walnut start a band? It wanted to make some nutty music, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut play hide and seek? Shell-ter it in a hiding spot, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the walnut at the amusem*nt park? This is gonna be a nutty ride, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the pistachio always so curious? It had a great sense of shell-discovery, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of art? Pea-nut-ure, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the gym? It wanted to get a little more pec-tacular, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut stop giggling? Tell it a serious joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the spa? Let’s relax and shell out, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the almond start a band? It wanted to go nutty with the music, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite vegetable? The carrot, because it loves to crunch, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the beach? To soak up some rays, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut stop laughing? Tell it a non-nutty joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the walnut at the comedy show? This is gonna be nutty, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the peanut always so optimistic? It had a nut-look on life, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ roll, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the gym? It wanted to beef up its shell-f-esteem, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut dance? Put on some music and shell it out, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the comedy club? This place is gonna be cracking me up, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the almond always so cool? It had a great sense of self-shell, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite way to communicate? By almond-mail, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the dance party? It heard they were cracking some great moves, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut roll? Give it a little push, just like Deez Nuts!
What did the nut say to the walnut at the amusem*nt park? Get ready for a nutty ride, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the pistachio always ask questions? It had a great sense of shell-discovery, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of art? Pea-nut-ure, just like Deez Nuts!
Why did the nut go to the gym? It wanted to get a little more pec-tacular, just like Deez Nuts!
How do you make a nut stop giggling? Tell it a serious joke, just like Deez Nuts!
What did one nut say to the other nut at the spa? Let’s relax and shell out, just like Deez Nuts!
Why was the almond always a hit at parties? It had a great nutworking personality, just like Deez Nuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite type of art? Walnut-craft, just like Deez Nuts!
